I’m considered a front line worker. I’m an x-ray technologist at a hospital and I come in contact with COVID or suspected COVID patients on a regular basis. I just finished a stint of night shifts and am recovering from sleep deprivation as I’m sitting here with my cup of coffee and pencil and paper (yes my first draft is on college rule in sloppy cursive — I’m old school.) I want to establish that I face the pandemic directly on a daily basis. I feel that gives what I’m going to say a little extra weight. When I tell you how I’ve found a bit of peace in this chaos, I don’t want you to blow me off as a blogger sitting in her house all safe and content.
Questioning security in a pandemic
I’ve been lucky to have a career like mine, I’m paid fairly well with good benefits, and I enjoy the work I do. Much of the money I make goes into investments, according to the plan that my husband, Aron, and I have established for our future.
Our habits around money have given us a sense of financial security that many people dream of. Our financial growth has been a humble and steady journey of frugality and investing. We’ve held firm to these ways especially during this pandemic, clinging to what we know has worked for us.
But since this all started, I’ve been reflecting (as many have) on what true security looks like. I no longer look at our investments the same way. In today’s grand system of consumerism our investments work for us. But, I’ve watched those numbers rise and fall in these recent months, and they’re beginning to look more and more like just black and white digits on a screen.
That got me thinking: If ever there comes a time when our glorious economy fails us – when the system breaks – what will I have? My very own numbers on a screen that don’t mean anything anymore. My life’s work meaningless.
Lessons from 2020
If I’ve learned anything from 2020 so far, it’s that nothing goes according to plan. Nothing is promised. We need to accept that and figure out what we can do to thrive despite a COVID pandemic.
I’ve grown to love the name of this blog more and more. Nine to Thrive. It encompasses a journey that is so beautifully open ended. Thank God we didn’t name it Nine to Retired – The End, because that was kind of our attitude when we started investing.
Thriving can mean so many different things in life and I’m happy to say we’re already thriving and we will continue to do so – to new heights we couldn’t have imagined at the beginning of this journey.
To us, in 2020, thriving is not about having lots of money. It’s about accepting our circumstances, finding things to be grateful for, and having hope for the future by preparing the best we can.
Making peace with impermanence
I’ve recently realized that nothing is truly mine. Only within the confines of this system we live in do I “own” anything. In the past few years, my grandparents have been faced with the impending need to sell their pristine property on the ocean. The property has been in the family for generations, beautifully frozen in a simpler time. My Grandpa has said on a few occasions, “We are only stewards of what we’ve been given on this Earth.”
Aron and I will continue to invest our “numbers.” We’ll stick to the plan to be good stewards of what we’ve been given. We’ll take care of what we have and accept that it’s not promised to us forever. We’ll have hope anyway, and be thankful for it now. The way I look at it is, I have a choice between this mentality or obsessing over the uncertainties. I choose to make peace with the reality.
New hope, new pandemic plan
Since realizing how intangible our wealth is, I’ve decided to make an addendum to our retirement plan. It’s still in the infancy stages of planning, but Aron and I are going to start a journey to be more self sufficient, by changing our yard into an urban garden.
We will invest in self sufficiency by growing our own food. We’ve lost so many skills in this consumer lifestyle and I want to start investing in learning those skills. When the going get’s tough, we can’t eat the digital numbers in our investment portfolio.
So, you can look forward to reading about us city folks fumbling our way through owning chickens, learning to compost and growing and preserving food. I’m sure there will be a few laughs, since we have no idea what we’re doing!
Remembering Truths
I feel like this was a different post from our norm. A compilation of my contemplations of these challenging times. Pointing out the impermanence of life might seem counter-intuitive in a post about finding peace in a pandemic. Although, I find it helpful to not delude myself. I can’t tell myself all of my planning and efforts will work out perfectly, and I’ll get to keep all the stuff I’ve acquired. Deep down I would know that’s a lie, and that’s what causes the most anxiety. Acceptance and action are what help me get through my uncertainties.
Remember this truth: all we have is this moment. So, be good stewards of it. Be grateful, have hope, share it with the ones you love, and find peace in that. I’m reminding myself of this as much as reminding you. God bless you all during this pandemic, and may you thrive in spite of it!
Love this post. We shouldn’t be spending our lives waiting to live, or thrive. The time is now.
Found your blog through Camp Fire Finance. I felt the same way too about the numbers. My wife is also a front liner. If I get terminally sick from the virus, it’ll be game over— I don’t get to enjoy any millions we saved. I try to be more generous with my money by contributing to charitable causes, for example.